Have you ever realized girls accept themselves through the validation of boys? For example, when girls say, “Boys like a girl with a butt and thighs!” or “He likes skinny girls, so I want to be skinny.” We either tell ourselves these statements to help accept our own bodies, or we want to be something we are not so we can be deemed as “what the boys want.” Some girls want to lose weight or gain weight because of the recognition from what boys want in our bodies. Some girls stay how they are because its what a boy wants; yet they don’t feel comfortable with themselves. Be who you want to be and do it all for yourself- not because a boy is telling you to be something. Love you for who you are- not for the acceptance of the opposite sex. If it’s anything I’ve learned in my relationships, it’s that a real guy loves personality. There’s nothing more attractive than you loving you. There will be hundreds of thousands of girls with your body type who will be beautiful as well. But, being yourself will set you apart. A man will love you for being you, and not relying on his validation.

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Sometimes it helps us to get through negative thoughts by reassuring ourselves of the approval of others or by boosting ourselves up through the flaws of others. This may help you achieve your confidence, but it may not be a long- lasting way to self-love. Always remember to be body positive with words and thoughts that do not involve others. Make it all about yourself. No comparisons, or no validation from others.

“I am prettier than her” >> “I am pretty”

“Boys love a big butt” >> “I love my big butt”